On The Road with Dave

One Moment Please!

2010-04-30T22:39:00.005-05:00

"On The Road With Dave" will be experiencing technical difficulties over the next few weeks as we migrate to a new blogging platform. I apologize to all my readers, (Hey! you two, over in the corner..listen up!)

No posts will appear here until migration is complete and there will be minor glitches after that and design issues that will need to be resolve. Please stay tuned and check back for the re-appearance of "On The Road"

In the meantime, my ventriloquial side-kick is granting me writing privileges at his blog, "Skyler's Gravel Road" and I'll do a a few posts at "Comedy This Exit". Check the newsfeed under the banner here at "On The Road" for updates.

I'll be back here as quickly as possible. Please Stand By and feel free to talk amongst yourselves.

"Sunday Thoughts"

2010-04-25T10:31:00.000-05:00

"I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in."

--John Muir

"There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew."

--Marshall McLuhan, 1964

2010: Make Contact With Earth Day

2010-04-22T07:14:00.002-05:00

Since its inception, "On The Road With Dave" has recognized each April 22nd for the celebration of Earth Day.

In the Arthur C. Clarke novel-based movie, 2010 is the year we make contact with alien life forms. Clarke was way ahead of his time with his predictions for space travel. We have lagged way behind with Clarke's predictions.

Unfortunately, Planet Earth and its inhabitants are still alone in the known Universe, and contact with intelligent life forms from other galaxies may never become a reality.

But if that day is to come, then celebration of each Earth Day becomes more important each year that passes. If Earth is to survive to that day we make contact with a distant cousin from the Betelgeuse system, then we still have to be vigilant in the care of our own Terran earth/space ship. It has to be more than recycling paper, using fluorescent lightbulbs, driving electric cars and the occasional use of a solar panel on top of an emergency sign on the side of the road. We need to embrace new technologies in conjunction with finding "green" options for cleaning our toilets. We need to begin work on changing the way we develop rather than debating the validity of climate change. We need to save the rainforests and animals on the brink of extinction while we also save our way of living by advancing medical innovation at lower costs. And while we make contact with each other with Instant Messaging, 3G Smartphones, text messages, and our trusty Netbooks; we still need to take the time to contact each other face-to-face and sometimes have our bare feet make contact with green grass.

We have a long way to go. On this Earth Day 2010; take the time to think and realize that our planet is still our only home. No extraterrestrial super-being is likely to make us wiser and more evolved to save our Earth. That responsibility still belongs to us; not just on Earth Day, but every day. Our planet still hangs alone in the Universe, but we can still care for it together.

Photo by Dimitri Castrique

"Sunday Thoughts"

2010-04-18T11:06:00.001-05:00

"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious."

--Peter Ustinov

PLEASE STAND BY

2010-04-16T23:59:00.000-05:00

This blog is experiencing a contemplation of future articles, writer's block, and an author's hectic schedule. Please stand by. Future activity will resume shortly.

"Sunday Thoughts"

2010-04-11T01:38:00.001-05:00

"The story I am writing exists, written in absolutely perfect fashion, some place, in the air. All I must do is find it, and copy it."

--Jules Renard, "Diary," February 1895

"Easter Sunday Thoughts"

2010-04-04T05:33:00.000-05:00

"And he departed from our sight that we might return to our heart, and there find Him. For He departed, and behold, He is here."

--St Augustine

Photo by Bruce Lee

"Sunday Thoughts"

2010-03-28T14:29:00.000-05:00

"I... recommend to every one of my Readers, the keeping a Journal of their Lives for one Week, and setting down punctually their whole Series of Employments during that Space of Time. This kind of Self-Examination would give them a true State of themselves, and incline them to consider seriously what they are about. One Day would rectifie the Omissions of another, and make a Man weigh all those indifferent Actions, which, though they are easily forgotten, must certainly be accounted for."

--Joseph Addison, 1712

On Love

2010-03-23T07:30:00.002-05:00

Before I began blogging, I kept an infrequent journal. In 1983, I was writing in a journal book/calendar that I purchased from Writer's Digest. At the beginning of the first month of that year I made an entry that I had met the friend of a friend at a local nightclub.

"Tonight, I met Cheryl's lovely friend, Renee. We danced. It was nice. I hope to see her again."

That "meeting" led to a series of meetings, dances, and dates. I made any excuse to see her again and again. It was a whirlwind romance. But, I was scared. This romance was serious. She had even told me that she was in love with me by the second month. She just knew.

Looking back, I was already in love, too; but as a guy--I just could not seem to express the feeling in words, vocally. I know, it's hard to imagine me not saying what was on my mind, huh?

Towards the end of March, Renee and I were finishing up a romantic evening and I had told myself that I would tell her that evening how I felt. I searched for the right moment and several came and went, but I could not say "I love you". (Chock it up to immaturity or dumb machismo) So, when all else failed, I began to get silly and goofy. I was joking around with her and talking in "third person".

"David Robison likes this"

Finally, I looked at her and kissed her. "Renee Evans..." I said.

"Yes, David Robison"

"Renee Evans...David Robison Loves You"

After I finally left that evening, I went home and wrote in my journal.

MARCH 23, 1983

David Robison Loves Renee Evans

Over the years we celebrate that day as much as any couple would celebrate a wedding anniversary. It is our "I love you" anniversary. Some years, I will semi-quote myself as I did on that rainy March 23rd saying "Renee Evans...David Robison STILL loves you"; but since that long ago March 23rd; I have never been afraid to show my feelings to her, nor been afraid to say the words to her two dozen times a day.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, RENEE!

Just for the record--I Love You

"Sunday Thoughts"

2010-03-21T13:25:00.002-05:00

"The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created Spring."

--Bern Williams

On The Road With St. Patrick's Dave

2010-03-17T08:20:00.000-05:00

Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.

The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie's eye FOOM! the oceans were teaming with fish.

The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye POOF! there was a huge wall around England.

The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."

The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water."

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY FROM ON THE ROAD WITH DAVE

"Sunday Thoughts"

2010-03-14T08:28:00.000-05:00

"Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable."

--Wendy Wasserstein

"Sunday Thoughts"

2010-03-07T13:05:00.000-06:00

"Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it."

--Fyodor Dostoevsky

Still Searching For New Blog Home

2010-03-06T23:25:00.000-06:00

Since Blogger announced it was no longer supporting FTP blogs and abandoning me, I've been researching my options. Originally, Blogger announced a March 26th date for their date of non-support. Recently they announced they would give us poor saps until May 1, to make the necessary changes.

I've received some good informative comments on my last entry about the issue and a few friends have offered to help me with the upcoming move. I've been procrastinating. I'm glad the deadline was extended.

Blogger is trying to make the move as easy as possible with updates and instructions, but they have said if I follow their procedure, I would not be able to go back to FTP/private hosting with any entries after making their specific changes to their new format. I'm not sure I like the sound of that.

Other options presented to me have obstacles such as downloading some blog format software to my current computer. My current computer is an older model that I had to press into service and it does not support a lot of sites out there on the "Internets". Even YouTube has told me that my current system is out of date and updates are no longer available. (Yeah, it's that old)

So in order to follow some's advice, I'd have to invest in a new computer, too. I'm not ready to do that just yet. So, I'm still procrastinating and still searching for options. I'll figure it out.

Photo by Mattlemmon

"Sunday Thoughts"

2010-02-28T11:00:00.000-06:00

"Of equality-As if it harm'd me, giving others the same chances and rights as myself- As if it were not indispensable to my own rights that others possess the same."

--Walt Whitman

Jimmy Nelson, Manic Mark, and Memories

2010-02-27T21:06:00.001-06:00

I was checking my email Saturday night and I checked on one of my Google Alert emails on the topic of ventriloquism. In case you didn't know you can set up Alerts with Google and they will email you a list of links for the day of websites mentioning your topic.

In the email, I discovered Mark Betcher's blog, "Art Work by Manic Mark". Manic Mark collects old vinyl LP Albums in the niche market of private labels, vanity press, and self-produced albums. Not only does he find the recordings and the production of the albums of value, but also the accompanying album covers and artwork.

Mark explains,

"About vinyl collecting and my reviews. Producing a record for most artists was a costly undertaking. Without label support, artists had to pay for studio time and many extras to help engineer a recording. Artists then had to pay for pressing the record and the cost of creating the album jacket. And the cost of printing, even a low-end, one color jacket was very expensive! Certainly there was no budget for marketing. There were no fashion consultants, make-up artists or professional designers working on these projects. These private press, off or no label, vanity LPs were "expensive" undertakings in the most low budget way. I treasure them because I get the artist's vision... not the marketing department vision! It's the unvarnished truth!"

I'm not harshing on Mark's hobby--I think it's kinda cool. But Mark reviewed an album that is near and dear to my heart and although he said some good things about it, he sort of dissed the subject matter and the effectiveness of the album.

The album was Jimmy Nelson's "Instant Ventriloquism and Ventriloquism For The Beginner". Jimmy Nelson was a famous ventriloquist in the 50s and the 60s and brought to life his partners, Danny O'Day and Farfel, for millions on TV. Nelson's commercials for NESTLES chocolate ingrained in every child's mind of that era with the clever jingle, "N-E-S-T-L-E-S, Nestle makes the very best...chocolate."

Nelson also licensed the likeness of his dummy, Danny O'Day to be sold as a beginner ventriloquist doll to boys and girls all over the USA through JCPenney's and Sears' Christmas catalogs. My first ventriloquist doll was a Danny O'Day doll received on my 9th Christmas along with an LP vinyl album called "Jimmy Nelson's Instant Ventriloquism and Ventriloquism For The Beginner"

Manic Mark says,

"I wonder how many people actually got anywhere learning the art of ventriloquism using this instructional LP? Not many, I suspect. The same deal applies to the instructional books you might buy as a comic book reading youngster to help you muscle up so that bullies would stop kicking sand in your face at the beach."

But Mark we must disagree. Not only did I learn ventriloquism from that album, but I performed all over my little city with that doll with nothing more than Nelson's instructions. Of course, my interest in the art sparked more reading, more training, and even more practicing; but that little doll and that recording was more than effective. Over the years, I've had conversations with other ventriloquists that had similar experiences.

Mark, you have found a piece of history for a lot of ventriloquists and I'm glad you found it worth collecting. (I still have my copy) Thanks for mentioning it, for saving it and for preserving it.

Thanks to Manic Mark you can listen to a small sample of the recording, and enjoy your first lesson in Ventriloquism from a Master--Jimmy Nelson.

Happy Living In Alabama

2010-02-26T21:45:00.003-06:00

Alabama is a happy state.

I say that with assurance and evidence provided by a scientific study. And this writer is happy that he lives in a state that ranks high on the "happy" list. If you will recall, I was rather "bummed" a few months ago, when another study ranked my current home city of Mobile, Alabama as a home for ugly men.

But revenge is sweet; and thanks to Rob Zeiger,who alerted me to the story; I happy to say that the "Happy study" beats the "ugly study", hands down.

The study was conducted by Professor Andrew Oswald of the UK's University of Warwick and Stephen Wu of Hamilton College in the USA.

The two professors first relied on research from a 2005-2008 Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System random sample of 1.3 million United States citizens in which life-satisfaction in each U.S. state was measured. People were asked about their health and just how satisfied they were with their life. This provided a table of happiness by US State. But the survey is/was subjective. How do you rely on someone's self declared level of happiness? How do you know they are telling the truth?

Wu and Oswald state, "Researchers have, for decades, longed for a more clearly external scientific check on, and corroboration of, well-being survey answers."

The researchers discovered data conducted in 2003 by Stuart Gabriel and colleagues from UCLA which considered objective indicators for each individual State of the USA such as: precipitation; temperature; sunshine; coastal land; inland water; public land; National Parks; hazardous waste sites; environmental "greenness"; commuting time; violent crime; air quality; local taxes; cost of living and other factors. This allowed the creation of a rank order of US states showing which should provide the happiest living experience. This was truly external data that could be used to check Wu and Oswald's survey study.

When the data was combined, Oswald and Wu discovered that people were telling the truth. The "happiness" answers matched the data that would logically define a happy place to live. Citizens who described themselves as happy and satisfied tended to live in areas where it was warm, safe, secure and the cost of living wasn't a stone around their necks.

And yeah those big states, like California (46) have sunshine and New York (Dead Last) have opportunity but the researchers also say they have a self-non fulfilling prophecy of dissatisfaction and unhappiness, because people rushed to them to "be happy" and wind up in crowded cities with a high cost of living, crime, and resulting unhappiness from those factors and others.

I kinda felt sorry for New York Times writer, Clyde Haberman as he tried to justify his city's ranking as Number 51 out of 51 on the list. New York is a unhappy place to live, but Haberman states unhappiness could be a good thing, "More important, might contentment be overrated? Seriously, isn't restlessness, even outright discontent, often a catalyst for creativity?"

Sounds to me like New Yorkers are getting a small taste of being on an "Ugly List".

So, where are the happiest places to live in the United States?

1. Louisiana
2. Hawaii
3. Florida
4. Tennessee
5. Arizona
6. Mississippi
7. Montana
8. South Carolina
9. Alabama
10. Maine

That's right, Alabama is in the Top 10. My home state of Mississippi is Number 6 and one of my favorite cities, New Orleans; is in the #1 Happiest State in America. And this study was conducted before the Saints won the Super Bowl. In fact, six of the top ten states were in The South. It's about time, Southern states land on a list that's good and doesn't rank them last. New York will have to "get over it"; this time.

I knew it all along, but now, Science proves I'm happy living in Alabama.

"Sunday Thoughts"

2010-02-21T08:40:00.000-06:00

"You have the Answer. Just get quiet enough to hear it."

--Pat Obuchowski

Getting Re-Married Ceremony

2010-02-18T02:04:00.002-06:00

The following video is the actual ceremony that my dear wife and I participated in on Valentine's Day 2010 with Steve Durkac officiating.

Read The Story Here At On The Road With Dave.

Getting Re-Married: A World Record Attempt

2010-02-18T01:40:00.000-06:00

It's not everyday that I'm challenged to break a world record. In fact, up until last Friday, I've never been challenged to break a world record. But my dear wife of 26 years asked me to participate in a world record breaking attempt that she figured I could handle. Her challenge--"Let's get re-married!"

The "re-married" part seemed easy enough. Rustle up a preacher, justice of the peace, or local Elvis impersonator and say the "I do's". How is that breaking a World's record?

Gulf Shores, Alabama restaurateur, Lucy Buffett(sister of singer, Jimmy)and owner of Lulu's Homeport had staged a Valentine's Day event to break the World's Record for most Married Couples to Participate in a Re-Vow Ceremony. The record stands at 1087 couples according to Guinness Book of World Records.

Last Sunday, on Valentine's Day, my dear wife and I made the 40-minute drive down to Gulf Shores and was greeted by other couples standing on the white sands of Lulu's complex which includes her restaurant, marina, playground, gift shop, and her outside bar, Bama Breeze.

TV crews from Good Morning America and local news stations as well as official Guinness record keepers were in attendance to witness the event. "Lulu" had prepared a stage for preacherman, Steve Durkac, and an emcee, that I swear must have had some Buffett blood in him somewhere to officiate the ceremony. Wedding cake, champagne, flowers, were all provided by Buffett.

Each couple, held two helium-filled red balloons during the ceremony ready to be lofted into the air upon saying, "I do", once again.

The Gulf Shores Fire Department provided a ladder/boom truck as a photographer pedestal to capture the crowd on film. The truck positioned itself across the dock canal/marina. In addition to the record attempt, Lulu provided prizes to the couple that traveled the farthest for the ceremony(3031 miles); Longest-married couple(68 Years); and Shortest-Length Married(3.5 hours).

My wife and I stood among the crowd as preacherman, Durkac, spoke to the couples and then we stared into each other's eyes and repeated the vows as they were given. We said our "I do's" and laughed and we were pronounced, "re-married" and kissed as we let our balloons free.

Did we break the record? Yes and No. We broke the record for the state of Alabama with over 400 couples in attendance, but well shy of the 1087 needed for a World's Record. A gallant attempt, indeed; and "Lulu" set a new vow to continue the tradition next year. I think I can be up for another attempt; after all you can get "re-married" to the same person more than once and in my case, that's a pleasure.

Happy Birthday, Edgar!

2010-02-16T02:12:00.000-06:00

Ventriloquist Edgar Bergen was born on February 16, 1903. 107 years later he is still remembered fondly, studied intently, discussed loudly, and remains the benchmark to which all ventriloquists are compared. Happy Birthday, Edgar!

Artwork, Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy--1938--by Dick Weston

"Sunday Thoughts"

2010-02-14T07:43:00.001-06:00

"True love stories never have endings."

--Richard Bach

Codename:Cecil--Preparing To Begin

2010-02-13T23:39:00.004-06:00

I woke up today with the intention of starting to build my newest ventriloquist partner, "Cecil". As I explained before, Cecil will be a reincarnation of a previous puppet I once crafted. The project's beginning required a paper-mache' paste. The original used a wallpaper wheat paste powder mixed with warm water. It seems over the last 30 years or so that wallpaper wheat paste has been replaced by chemical glues and adhesive-backed vinyl wallpaper. I visited local craft stores, Hobby Lobby and Michael's Crafts with no luck in turning up the mix.

After searching the vastness of Google, I did find many recipes for wallpaper wheat paste that required wheat flour, sugar, salt, boiling water, and cooking with a double boiler and stirring; not exactly a length I want to travel. I did find the elusive mix online, but in bulk amounts too much for my small project. Finally, I found Golden Harvest that sells a small 3-pound amount that will be suitable for my needs. First I will shop at my local Ace Hardware and Lowes', since they were mentioned as distributors of the product and if that fails, I'll place an order online. In any case, this weekend will not see any progress on the project.

On a related puppet improvement project; I have rescued another old ventriloquist partner from the depths of my storage building. "Oliver" was a small red bird purchased from Maher Studios back when I was 15 or so. He helped perform at local library shows and birthday parties. Oliver had flapping wings, moving feet, winking and blinking eyes, and a spitter that could shoot a stream of water about 8 feet.

Oliver later became a "toy" for my kids and suffered quite a bit of damaged before being locked away under a mountain of boxes in a storage unit. A few days ago I contacted Clinton Detweiler of Mr D's Daily Ventriloquist Journal and "retired" proprietor of Maher Studios to see if "Oliver" could be rescued from the ravages of time and neglect. I'm awaiting the prognosis.

If anybody can put this bird "back in the air" or at least back on stage, I know Clinton is the fellow to do it. Looking at the figure at its worst now, should only make the final refurbish and repair all the more satisfying when it happens. It's hard to believe that the remarkable figure started out with a can as it's head and a bleach bottle as a body. I've read recent comments from other ventriloquists that are searching for this rare bird at auction sites. The Crazy Bird is no longer commercially available. I should have realized what I had a long time ago. Such is youth.

"Raisin' Cain" A Re-Run

2010-02-13T22:46:00.001-06:00

Originally Published February 18, 2007

In 1866, Mobile, Alabama was under "Union" Occupation and the spirit of the people was down and defeated. The tradition of Mardi Gras had been put on hold and no citizen of Mobile was allowed to protest against the occupation of what was still considered enemy troops.

A local clerk named Joseph Cain decided to have a parade of his own with a small group of friends. Joe Cain, dressed as a fictional Chickasaw Indian Chief named Slacabamorinico, climbed aboard a coal wagon and revived the celebration of Mardi Gras.

Union soldiers were unaware that the Chickasaw Indians had never surrendered during a war and thus were oblivious to the "protest". The parade continued on.

The parade still continues each Sunday before the official Mardi Gras day on Tuesday before Lent. Citizens of Mobile and visitors from around the world join in to celebrate Joe Cain Day.

Joe Cain has many merry widows that lay claim to him and his legacy. These "grieving" widows stop momentarily each year at Joe's Grave to throw roses and beads and dance to "raise Cain"; and then proceed through the parade route grieving and throwing beads to "mourners".

Of course, every funeral procession should have a "blues band" to lead the processional; and Joe Cain "mourners" hear the best.

But, Blues Bands are not the only music heard on the processional. The Joe Cain Day parade is a "people's parade", and the parade floats carry a variety of performers.

MORE PICTURES TO COME

READ MORE ABOUT JOE CAIN

B.O.O.K.: A Re-Run

2010-02-11T03:33:00.006-06:00

The following post was originally published on January 7, 2006. I thought in light of the recent announcement of the iPad, I'd visit the archives and re-run an article on my favorite piece of technology.

...I have found a device that I highly recommend to everyone.

Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade named: BOOK

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no
wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be
connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child
can operate it.

Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even
sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet it is powerful
enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc. Here's
how it works:

BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper
(recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of
information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit
device called a binder, which keeps the sheets in their
correct sequence.

Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use
both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density
and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for
further increases in information density; for now, BOOKs
with more information simply use more pages.

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information
directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to
the next sheet. BOOK may be taken up at any time and used
merely by opening it.

Unlike other display devices, BOOK never crashes or requires
rebooting, and it can even be dropped on the floor or
stepped on without damage. However, it can become unusable
if immersed in water for a significant period of time. The
"browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet
and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an
"index" feature, which pinpoints the exact location of
selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open BOOK to
the exact place you left it in a previous session -- even if
the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design
standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by
various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOKmarkers can
be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous
views at once. The number is limited only by the number of
pages in the BOOK.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries
with an optional programming tool, the Portable Erasable Nib
Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (PENCILS).

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a
precursor of a new entertainment wave. Also, BOOK's appeal
seems so certain that thousands of content creators have
committed to the platform and investors are reportedly
flocking. Look for a flood of new titles soon.

Photo by gerard79