The Time Is Tooth-Hurty

Last Wednesday I had 3 jaw teeth extracted from my mouth under an anesthesia called “twilight sleep”. And yep, the appointment time was 2:30.

Now let me say this, if you gotta get three teeth pulled and you don’t want to feel anything during the surgery; I highly recommend the “twilight sleep”.

If you also don’t want to remember the day following the surgery, the stumbling up your apartment stairs, the fright you gave a small child at your drug-induced intoxication, or the statements you made repeatedly ad nauseum to your wife…then I would still recommend the “twilight sleep”.

It seems I was quite a lovable, but obnoxious patient during the 24 hours post-surgery; but I have no recall of the events. I am told that I talked incessantly for an hour or two following surgery about the same things over and over again. I also frightened a neighbor kid who was confused by my strange walk and talk up my stairs to my apartment. After that I went to sleep and slept soundly for about 18 hours. The drugs kicked my butt.

The next few days following surgery were/are no picnic. I missed the rest of the week’s work. I had a LOT of swelling, and a LOT of pain. Heat packs, cold packs, pain pills, and saltwater rinses prevented me from driving, which IS the biggest part of my job. Mainly, the pain pills placed me at home.

I really thought after the teeth were pulled; I would feel so much better, but that was a misconception on my part. Post surgical pain has been bad. The stitches in my mouth are painful…my jaw bone hurts…my cheeks hurt…and oddly enough, my EXTRACTED teeth hurt. I guess it’s like an amputee that swears the missing limb is still there; but I still feel like my teeth hurt.

The other annoying thing is that my mouth just feels different. As a ventriloquist, I am aware of where my tongue and teeth are placed during the pronunciation of words, and it seems that everything is a bit “off”, when I speak. My tongue tends to wander to the empty spot in my mouth now. I’ll have some work to do rectifying that, I’m sure.

I return to work Monday, and my stitches come out Wednesday, and maybe by next weekend I will back to normal. Until then, I need to go rinse some stray food particle from the remaining hole at the back of my right jaw.

Yeah, it’s as bad as it sounds.

About Dave Robison

Now Appearing in an Extended Engagement! Join Dave Robison as he takes you into his world and his daily life of reviving a stand-up comedy career. Prepare for side trips exploring Public Relations, marketing and business ethics. Enjoy some frequent detours describing his observations on life. Read the exploits of this self-proclaimed Renaissance-man and blooming blogger as you go On The Road With Dave. From Mobile, Alabama comes Dave Robison, a confessed Internet-aholic, middle-aged-married-man, who's generally a nice guy--he just has one or two issues. Stand-Up Comedy by Dave Robison is available for corporate events, college campuses, and nightclubs.
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