The Imperial Palace Casino Sucks!

The Imperial Palace Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi Sucks!

The Imperial Palace Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi Sucks!

The Imperial Palace Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi Sucks!

Hey Google! Are you getting this?

Let me say it again;

“The Imperial Palace Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi Sucks!”

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m canceling today’s edition of
“MLM Mondays” for a special “blogger’s rant” (It’s a long one)

My wife and I decided to go out for the evening Saturday Night. We made the hour drive over to Biloxi,(pronounced Buh-Luxie) Mississippi to have dinner and visit a couple of the renovated post-Hurricane Katrina casinos. It’s been a year since the massive hurricane destroyed most of the Mississippi Gulf Coast and the recovery and rebuilding effort is coming along nicely; with massive amounts of money from the re-opening casinos providing tax revenue and employment opportunities to the residents.

I’d encourage anyone that wanted to vacation on the Gulf Coast to do so, and enjoy sugar white beaches, excellent seafood, and top-notch entertainment.

Anyway, back to my topic, and in case you have forgotten, it’s;

“The Imperial Palace Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi Sucks!”

So, my wife and I make the drive over to Biloxi, and the first casino we decide upon was The Imperial Palace Casino(which sucks.)

The “I-P” as it likes to be called was one of the first casinos to re-open and in their rush to get back into business they neglected to include any semblance of opulence, luxury, or ventilation.

This casino doesn’t live up to that Vegas-image you might see on “CSI”, nor does it live up to that Native-American casino you saw on “Family Guy”.

First, it was hot. Not warm, HOT…as in no ventilation, as in the A/C barely worked. Imagine a throng of thousands; thousands of mostly desperately broke and unwashed people thrown together for hours on end; now imagine them chain smoking, drinking endless rounds of alcohol, and sweating.

Nope, James Bond in a tuxedo playing Baccarat was no where to be seen.

Second, we decided to have dinner first.

Remember that horde of people I was telling you about? They wanted to eat, too. There was a two-hour wait for the buffet, and the line went on forever.

Every other restaurant(I think there was 4) also had a wait of an hour or more. We finally got on a waiting list at the Grill, and waited 40 minutes, but did manage to have a nice dinner with good service. But, I had to trade down from my craving for dungeness crab to the menu that the grill offered; and opted for a steak sandwich. The dinner was the only semi-bright moment in the evening.

But, here is the REAL reason why I should buy the domain name,


Shortly after arriving, my wife went to the cashier’s cage to buy a roll of quarters. You see, my wife has this thing she likes to do, where she wanders about the casino, just placing a quarter into available slot machines that she “feels” lucky about. Go Figure. It makes her happy.

She asks the cashier for a roll of quarters. The cashier says, “What you want quarters for, you making a phone call?”

It seems that since we last visited a casino last year, they have done away with quarters or tokens, and now the machines only take paper money and pays off with a voucher ticket.

That’s right, no more “plinkety-plink” metal on metal sound when the slot machines payoff. They now make a computerized sound and prints out a little ticket that you can redeem for your cash.

The cashier explains this by saying…”Them machines don’t take nothing but dollar bills! You don’t need no quarters.”

So, my darling wife goes to a slot machine and puts in a dollar and wins 12 bucks. By this time though, she has thought about the line, “What you want quarters for, you making a phone call? Them machines don’t take nothing but dollar bills! You don’t need no quarters.”

She decides she didn’t like that tone, and goes back to the same cashier window to redeem her 12 dollar voucher and asks the cashier for her name.

The cashier wants to know why my wife needs her name and my wife explains that she thought possibly that the cashier was rude earlier.

The cashier apologizes profusely by saying, “I don’t know what you are talking about! I’ve never seen YOUR UGLY FACE BEFORE! YOU MUST be DRUNK!

My wife collects her 12 dollars from another cashier and gets the name of the rude cashier from her badge on her shirt, as she turns to leave.

Now, my wife would be the first to tell you that Hugh Hefner has not invited her to the Playboy Mansion, but she still turns heads when she walks down the street and I’m still amazed she decided to hook up with the likes of me so many years ago.

Also, my wife is a tea-totaler, a non-drinker, we have a Culligan water cooler in our house and she drinks about 12 glasses a day. She simply doesn’t get drunk.

When I heard about this episode, I immediately took my wife to the front desk of the “Imperial Palace Sucks” and asks to speak with someone about this cashier’s rude behavior.

I was offered a form to fill out, but declined and asked to speak to a manager personally. After a few minutes, my wife and I was greeted by a Casino host. WE asked if we could speak privately about a rude employee, but was told that where we stood would be fine. ( the front desk was across from one of the casino’s lounges, complete with a live band playing well above 120 decibels)

The casino host took down our name and address, the name of the cashier, and then weakly apologized by saying, “I’m sorry you experienced that, we’ve never received a complaint about that person; I’m not saying it didn’t happen, and we will address it.”

That’s it.

Oh yeah, she did say, “I hope you give us a second chance.”

I then told her, that I was not impressed with her apology, I thought that the cashier needed to be moved to a NON-customer service position, and that I would be writing a full-fledge-righteous-indignation blog post on this very night and to please inform her bosses to please read “The Imperial Palace Sucks” at “On The Road With Dave”

Right after that, I asked her one last question, “Could you give me directions to The Biloxi Grand Casino(Now Harrah’s)?”

In closing, I just want to add that I-P may stand for Imperial Palace, but I think the more appropriate choice would be:

Inconsiderate People, Incredibly Poor, and Icky-Poo.

“The Imperial Palace Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi Sucks!”

About Dave Robison

Now Appearing in an Extended Engagement! Join Dave Robison as he takes you into his world and his daily life of reviving a stand-up comedy career. Prepare for side trips exploring Public Relations, marketing and business ethics. Enjoy some frequent detours describing his observations on life. Read the exploits of this self-proclaimed Renaissance-man and blooming blogger as you go On The Road With Dave. From Mobile, Alabama comes Dave Robison, a confessed Internet-aholic, middle-aged-married-man, who's generally a nice guy--he just has one or two issues. Stand-Up Comedy by Dave Robison is available for corporate events, college campuses, and nightclubs.
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17 Responses to The Imperial Palace Casino Sucks!

  1. Ty Tribble says:

    Must…fight…urge…to…link…Imperial…Palace…Sucks…to ….this….blog…post…on…my…blog…

  2. Link away!!!!

    Spread the word.

    We’re MLMers…tell 6 of your friends!

  3. Tom says:

    Dave, I’d be happy to send to 6 friends, but most Brits couldn’t find Miss. with a map.

  4. MLMInformer says:


    Let’s all go over to Cafepress and order up some of those “Imperial Casino Sucks! T shirts! Have it linked to the bottom of the Tshirt:

    “brought to you by the fine folks at http://WWW.THE IMPERIAL PALACE SUCKS.COM”

    Where’s Imran? Have him create an “IPsucks” Blog!

    I’ve had some bad service at one of those “indian”(politically incorrect term?) casino’s once,

    It’s a long story, but let’s just say my buddy almost had to post bail for me…


  5. Aaron Cook says:

    Wow, I can’t believe that. Thanks for sharing it Dave. Now I know exactly where NOT to go whenever I’m in Biloxi.

    Rude service like that always gets me steamed. It’s totally uncalled for. I think I’ll write a short post about it, sending people over here so they can know that the Imperial Palace Casino sucks royally!


  6. Balaji Krishnamoorthy says:


    Very humorous way of presenting something that is far from humorous.

    If you decide to raise funds for the domain name, I will be more than happy to mail you a bunch of quarters 🙂

  7. YC9769 says:


    I’m sorry to hear that The Imperial Palace Casino Sucks! Is this the first time that you noticed that The Imperial Palace Casino Sucks? I’ve never been to the Imperial Palace, so I didn’t realize that The Imperial Palace Casino Sucks! How’s the Beau Rivage doing these days? It seemed nice when I used to go there. Perhaps that’s because they know that The Imperial Palace Casino Sucks! Oh well. I’m sorry to hear that you had such a bad experience.

    Your pal,

  8. Anonymous says:

    I live near Vegas, and there isn’t a casino in town there (Out of literally dozens) that accepts coins in their slot machines. The entire gambling industry is on a campaign to convert to paperless vouchers. Reason? It’s cheaper! No cages = no wages to pay for the coin counters. Slot machines no longer jam. You don’t have any problem with internal employee theft, because only a select few have access to the cash boxes. Do I agree with it? Not at all! Is it the wave of the future? Bet on it (No pun intended). And a lesson I’ve learned from Vegas – the casinos (No matter who owns them) could not care less if you return or not. They’ve got all the business they need (See their rates lately?) so one or two angry customers? Sorry, but shop elsewhere next time.


  9. Anonymous says:


  10. Anonymous says:

    I am going there soon. Was concerned by your comments, but I read further and it sounds like the 2 of you like to be ball breakers. It seems having had a bad experience with a clerk, your wife would have avoided her, but really seemed to enjoy revenge..So I will continue to go and hope that my experience will be better.
    Wherever you go, you will find people gruff, anoying, rude but life is too short to prolong the encounter with. Move on.

  11. Anonymous,

    We did move on…right to another casino.

    I’m the furthest from a “ball-breaker” as you would hope to meet.
    It wasn’t revenge, it was the fact we were treated rude by a place that thrives on or is suppose to thrive on hospitality.

    I hope your visit is different.


  12. Anonymous says:

    I and my BOSS decided to have a father’s day supper of crab legs and enjoy a bloody mary at the Palace this evening. Another customer complained about our language, and the manager along with three security guards acompanied us to the front door. This after paying $18.99 per plate for two buffets. I will never allow my money to inconvenience them again. Richard. Biloxi MS.

  13. dingybtch says:

    Were they nice to you at the Grand Biloxi Casino? I’ve never heard anything good about the IP.

  14. Yep, we had a great time at The Grand and brought home some money, too.

  15. Ryan Soudelier says:

    First of all I’ll point out your errors in your confrontation with Southerners. I know I know, you’re from Alabama, which means your a Yankee, if you don’t think your a Yankee then you are even more of a yank then I can tell.

    Alabama is good for one thing… making it harder for people from Florida to get to Louisiana.

    See… you went to the IP after a hurricane hit the Gulf South, good job asshole. You just vacationed in a renovation ground zero and you complained about the A/C? What are you thinking man? The poor lady behind the counter probably doesn’t have a house to live in.

    I have been to tons of casino’s and I never been treated that way, not even in casino’s in the most extreme locations of the middle of no where USA. I have been in a smoky back-bar poker tournament and been treated better than what you described in this post. So my question is: what the fuck did you do to that poor woman?

    And the redundancy in your statement “The Imperial Palace Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi Sucks!” just makes you seem very immature and down-right retarded.

    You proved this theory by comparing a real-life actual place with the likes of a science fiction television show and a cartoon, and then talked about buying the domain name? I checked the whois, and I’m glad you didn’t for you own sake.

    Furthermore, you’ve obviously never worked behind the scenes of a casino, as I have, else you’d know that quarters are a complete, unethical pain in the ass. So you’re wife’s mindless wondering dropping quarters in machines is a lot more headache than you think it is.

    First, we’d have to LOAD the machine with quarters before it can even drop quarters out. Because if we empty it, and your wife drops a quarter in it and it hits… what’s it going to drop?

    Cash goes into what we call a stacker, and is a lot easier to secure and manage. The voucher CAN be put in other machines the same way cash can, but you’re too stuck up to realize that.

    You wrote this post in 2006 and that technology has been around since at least 2001. So what run-down ancient casinos have you been wasting your money in is my question.

    Before you judge a cashier at a casino, work their job for one month. I dare you. It’s probably one of the worse jobs ever as far as dealing with the public goes. Why? Because they constantly have to deal with people who want their ass powdered, and be treated like they are goddamn royalty when they are nothing more than rotten pieces of shit… and probably vegans. (I hate vegans)

    And last, but certainly not least, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Texas or any other state INCLUDING Louisiana (north of I-10) has no fucking clue what seafood is supposed to taste like.

    You want real gumbo and friend seafood? Go to Houma, LA. The southernmost city in Louisiana. But since you’re so high and mighty and know exactly how shit is supposed to be, you’ll probably just ignore that and continue to enjoy what you think is southern lifestyles.

    Oh yeah, by the way, there are NO NON-CUSTOMER SERVICE jobs at a casino…idiot. Get a life and think about what you say before you say it.

  16. Ryan,

    Thanks for your response. I only wish your profile was public, so I could pay a visit to your blog or website. You sound like a hoot.

    I know a couple of people in Houma, and they’re pretty good people. Sorry, I’m not southern enough for you. You’d think by growing up in Mississippi and living in Alabama, I’d qualify, but I gues not. Guess I’m just a redneck, then. Hell they’re everywhere.

    I’ve defended this post numerous times. No sense in re-hashing the events, except to say the repetition of the “sucks” phrase was for effect and for the search engines. Which is how I figure you found it.

    I’m sure I’d enjoy some gumbo in Houma and I did think about that before I said it.

    Thanks for stopping by, and I love a dissenting opinion. “Dissent”–that’s a high and mighty word that means it’s okay to give me shit about the shit I think I know.


  17. Pingback: The IP Casino Has A Defender | On The Road With Dave

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