D. Robison, PR Guy / Chapter 1

It was a hot and muggy May afternoon; it’s Alabama, everyday is hot and muggy; I was busy working on a project when the two of them walked in my door. The moniker is Dave Robison, I’m a PR guy.

They wore dark suits, and hats tilted toward their eyes. What the hat didn’t cover, the black Ray-Bans concealed. I noticed a glisten of perspiration on each of their upper lips. They asked me,

“Would you mind putting down that hairbrush you were using as a microphone? We’d like to talk to you.”

I said, “Sure” and pulled up my chair and sat down at my desk. “Have a seat, boys”

They walked to the front of my desk, but remained standing. I asked them their names, but they declined to give any introductions, they just said,

“We’re from Quixtar and we’d like to discuss a situation with you.”

“No names, huh? I asked, “Mind if I just call you, ‘Bob’ and ‘Doug’? By the way, nice hat.

“Thanks,” said Bob.

“I meant Doug’s,” I replied. “What can I do for you boys?”

Bob said, “Have you ever heard of Scott Larsen or a website called Quixtar Business Analysis?”
“Sure,” I said, “He’s kinda spanked ya’lls asses on a few issues”

Doug interjected, “Mr. Robison, we’d prefer to just stick to the matter at hand”

“Okay, no problem… call me Dave.”

“Mr. Robison,” continued Doug, “we are tired of some of the things Mr. Larsen has printed, and we want to do something about it.”

Bob said, “That’s right, we want to elemi-”

Doug quickly coughed and shot his eyes in Bob’s direction.

“Ahem,” Bob continued, “we want to settle a matter of confusion that Mr. Larsen has published, and we need to ask you how to handle it.”

Okay, boys, my fee is $200 dollars a day PLUS expenses.

Doug said, “We’ll give you a case of XS with double PV and an autographed picture of Beth Dornan.”

“Okay,” I said, “you gotta deal.” (I’m a sucker, for PR babes)

END OF CHAPTER ONE

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About Dave Robison

Now Appearing in an Extended Engagement! Join Dave Robison as he takes you into his world and his daily life of reviving a stand-up comedy career. Prepare for side trips exploring Public Relations, marketing and business ethics. Enjoy some frequent detours describing his observations on life. Read the exploits of this self-proclaimed Renaissance-man and blooming blogger as you go On The Road With Dave. From Mobile, Alabama comes Dave Robison, a confessed Internet-aholic, middle-aged-married-man, who's generally a nice guy--he just has one or two issues. Stand-Up Comedy by Dave Robison is available for corporate events, college campuses, and nightclubs.
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2 Responses to D. Robison, PR Guy / Chapter 1

  1. Eric says:

    End of Chapter One? Don’t leave me hanging!

  2. rocket says:

    HA! This is like one of those Tracer Bullet cartoons in Calvin and Hobbes.

    Thanks Dave, this is a really good read man.

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