Now Appearing in an Extended Engagement! Join David Robison as he takes you into his world and his daily life of reviving a stand-up comedy career. Prepare for side trips exploring the "art" of salesmanship and business ethics and his experience with Multi-level Marketing. Enjoy some frequent detours describing his observations on life. Read the exploits of this self-proclaimed Renaissance-man and blooming blogger as you go
On The Road With Dave.
Yesterday I get a phone call from a friend, and after I say hello, he asks, "Know any good jokes?"
Although I consider myself a comic and I write "jokes"; I normally can't tell a typical "story joke" like you might hear in a bar. I love hearing them and I love reading them, but I just suck at telling them.
So, I can imagine the pressure of being a popular comic and being asked by another comic to tell the world's dirtiest joke not only to one other comic who also knows the joke; but to be in a movie with 100 other comics telling the same joke.
The cast of the movie is a who's who list of stand up comedians that include; Shelley Berman, Lewis Black, David Brenner, Drew Carey, George Carlin, Billy Connolly, Phyllis Diller, Whoopi Goldberg, Gilbert Gottfried, Eddie Izzard, Richard Lewis, Bill Maher, Howie Mandel, Martin Mull, Paul Reiser, Don Rickles, Chris Rock, Bob Saget, Tom Smothers, Jon Stewart, Robin Williams and Steven Wright.
Scheduled for release starting today in some cities, the movie has one strike against it other than the most vile, disgusting joke told a hundred different ways; in that movie theatre chain, AMC, is refusing to run the film in it's theatres.
But, if you are lucky enough to see the movie in your city, then you can be on the "inside" of a joke with its roots in vaudeville, and its premise strictly in the gutter.
If you won't be one of the lucky few to hear the joke on screen then you'll be happy (or mortified) to know that more versions of the joke are served up for your reading pleasure(or disgust) at Dead Frog Comedy Blog.
If your curiosity isn't already piqued, then take a look at the trailer provided by Apple Quick Time. And if you REALLY GOT to hear a version of the joke, Cartman from South Park offers his version.
In the meantime, here's my version,
"So this family walks into a talent agency. There's a father, a mother, a brother, and a sister. The sister has a kangaroo on a leash. The father says, "you have to see our act. It's the greatest."
The agent said, "Sorry, but I don't handle family acts, they are just too cutesy."
But the mother says, Aw c'mon, this is really different, just give us five minutes"
The agent says "okay show me what you got"
So the sister, pulls out a boom box from the kangaroo's pouch and starts the music as the father begins to...............
I spent the day fixing some broken picture links, re-uploading pictures(after tracking them down again) and editing links contained in the body of previous entries so they all point to the corresponding entries here at the new dot com site.
So far, I have fixed 3...4 months worth of entries.
If you feel the need for a review, here are the corrections.
Actually, this post is about Links in my Web Log, rather than actual Lincoln Logs, from my childhood.
I have added some links to Amazon.com through their Associate program.
I'm not altogether happy with the links' appearance so far. I want to add just the book or CD's image, without all the info and the box. (Much like the way Wil Wheaton does with his Amazon items at Wil Wheaton Dot Net)
But, that requires a bit more tweaking. That's to come.
What inspired me to add these links, is that from time to time I make recommendations of books in my blog entries and normally provide a link to Amazon so people can check them out.
I decided I could highlight my recommendations on a regular rotating basis by adding the links in my side bar, and changing them up on a bi-weekly basis with new items.
Last night I watched The American Masters series on PBS featuring Bob Newhart.
I think Bob really lives up to the idea of An American Master of Comedy and his Button-Down Mind CD recorded in 1961 is a timeless classic.
Bob has always been a favorite of mine, and so his CD gets featured as one of the new links.
I've also added one or two other links, and removed one link. Like I said, I still have some changes planned for "On The Road With Dave"; and you'll start seeing more of them as time goes on.
I am at the corner of Frustration Avenue and Pissed-Off Boulevard here at "On The Road With Dave".
I love having my new domain name, and I'm excited about the changes on the way; BUT bad things have happened during the change.
I'm not sure how it happened, but I have lost ALL of my entries at the old Blogger Blog.spot address. The Only thing that remains is a new post I created to direct people with my old "bookmark" to this new site.
The good folks at Blogger seem to want to direct me to their "stock" FAQ section to remedy the situation, I'm still awaiting a personal reply.
I did not delete the old address and had hoped it would remain. That doesn't seem to be the case, now.
All the posts I have written are still here at www.ontheroadwithdave.com, but after a year of getting some high Google rankings for some individual posts; now if you click on them with the old address, you are met with a Page Not Found Error. Furthermore, at the moment, you'd have to search through several pages at Google to find my actual site, although I'm mentioned at other sites.
So my fear is that Internet surfers may not find my little blog now.
Also, any post I have transferred here at On The Road With Dave Dot Com, that links back to previous articles on the old Blog.spot site are now in need of editing to the new dot com indexed archives.
The other problem is that many pictures that I posted now appear as broken "links" here at the new site. I used Hello originally to post these pictures and now I suspect that Hello does not support the code at the new address. I'm willing to take suggestions on why this problem has occurred. If you happen to find a broken link let me know, and I'll try to go back and correct it. We'll see if that's possible.
Anyway, I have to trudge through over 300 posts now searching for little things that might upset your reading pleasure.
All I can say is bear with me while I untangle all this.
Yesterday, someone from my past left a comment on my "Back Home" entry from July 12th.
They mentioned a few things in the comment that brought back some good memories.
I will never forget Callaway Hall(MUW campus), Rocky Horror, the yellow (yes baby poo yellow) VW van, Your Mom and Dad. Sorry for the nostalgia. I have an annoying habit of reading your blog and not leaving a thought.
My very first car was not a car at all, but a 1972 Volkswagen Custom Van.
This baby had everything, but "heat" and a good motor.
A couch, that folded out into a bed, a fridge, a sink, a small closet, electric hook-up, and even a marine toilet; tucked inside a seat cabinet. (You removed the seat cushion and shelf and opened the cabinet and...and..well you get the picture)
The van had character, too. It was a bright orangey, yellow...or as my anonymous friend puts it..."baby-poo yellow". Ahh, but I told myself, "this thing has a Porsche engine inside it's little engine compartment, and the babe's will love it"
My VW van took me to Ole Miss during the week and home again on the weekends I racked quite a few miles in it. Of course, the "babes"; not so much.
It hauled my very first stage sets on top of it's convenient roof rack until a huge wind and an uncarefully tied rope sent my Skyler and Wayne Traveling Sideshow Wagon into a few more pieces than intended, along the sides of Highway 45.
One Christmas season, I decided that my van needed the "holiday spirit" and so a buddy of mine and I began to decorate the van. I got the bright idea that a can of "spray snow" would be great to "frost" the windows. But then, silliness, got the better of me, and before you knew it, I was writing "Merry Christmas" on one side of the van and "Happy New Year" on the other side.
Just as I was shaking the can, one final time to end the "Happy New Year" with a series of exclamation marks, I notice a small warning on the can, that it was NOT intended for painted finishes. WE quickly washed the "snow" from the van, only to reveal a shiny indelible "film" on the van. Car wax and rubbing compound was no avail.
Later on in July, if the sun hit the van just right, you could still see "Merry Christmas" and "Happy New Year" blazing on its sides.
And still later on that year, after my van spent numerous trips to the local mechanic suffering from "Porsche engine crammed into VW Van" disease; that same buddy of mine and I drove my van to the local mall. We left the engine running, the doors unlocked, and the side door opened wide, and went in to shop.
Only then did the van prove itself dependable; and it was still waiting for us as we walked back outside; hopeful to be distraught that my "beloved van" was stolen.
Our hopes dashed by any would-be thieves who chose NOT to be new owners of my "baby".
As for MUW and Callaway Hall, and attendance at several Rocky Horror Show viewings; those stories are for another time.
Mr. or Ms. Anonymous; thanks so much for the memories. Feel free to get nostalgic anytime.
Maybe someone, somewhere out there, has done it. I haven't personally seen it.
I also have a hard time believing how anyone could fall for that headline. It doesn't seem rational to me, and makes me think anyone that believes it; is on the verge of desperation. Grasping at straws is not good business.
So why does an MLMer use similar lines in their "prospecting strategy"?
Do they seek the desperate, the hopeless, the "straw grabber"?
I know how it all got started.
Someone came up with the idea, that an MLM opportunity meeting lasts about two hours.
Two meetings a week equals 4 hours. You spend 2 hours on the phone inviting people to each of the meetings. So that's 4 hours. And I guess, 2 hours doing follow-up after the meetings.
Where's the client appointments to sell products?
Where's the "driving time"?
Where's the administrative time; letters, market research, email, training?
If MLM is supposed to be a part-time business; then in my mind, we are talking at minimum; 20 hours a week.
Business owners normally work more than 40 hours a week. I know several who work 60-70 hours a week.
So, if you have a regular job and you put in 20-30 hours a week in your MLM business; you can count yourself in that category.
I'm being realistic here. Yes, that amount of work is going to scare off the normal prospects. It won't scare off a potential business owner, though. They will expect that sort of time commitment.
Will it be necessary every week? Probably not.
Should it be available on your schedule? Yes.
Should it be scheduled immediately? No, probably not. It can be phased in gradually.
But, to expect to put in only 10 hours a week in a business and become fabulously wealthy is delusional, in my humble opinion.
I'm a very egotistical person. I like it, when people like me. It's the "performer" in me. I crave people's approval.
Lately in the world of Multi-Level Marketing blogs and message boards, I have developed somewhat of a reputation of being a Quixtar IBO that is "liked" by Quixtar critics.
A Quixtar critic recently told me that(I'm paraphrasing)"I hate Quixtar, but if I was gonna be in the biz, I'd join under you"
An IBO also asked me, "How do you get all those critics to like you?"
I don't have a clear cut answer to that. I did not set out to gain approval from critics of my business. I merely wanted to gain some understanding of their disapproval. I wanted to find some common ground.
I know that there are those in the business world that view business as a "war"...an "us versus them" situation; someone must win, someone must lose, and profit is doled out in the "body count".
Maybe some Quixtar IBOs see me as more of one of the "thems" than one of the "us". I believe that I'm firmly in the Quixtar "camp"; but a good soldier can question the leadership of the Generals in charge, and still carry out his duty. Our forefathers questioned the government of Great Britain and said, "it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."
So I may tick off an occasional IBO with my views, but I just want to provide "new Guards"; new thinking, to a business I believe in as strongly as they do.
I see "business" like the handyman that I once was. Something is broke, you fix it...something is working, you maintain it...something needs renovation, you replace the "bad", with the "good."
In Comedy, if a joke doesn't get a laugh, you replace it. If it gets a laugh, you keep it and build more jokes around that laugh, to keep it going. And if one audience doesn't like your act, you try it out in front of a few others, before you trash the entire "set". Sometimes, you just don't perform well in front of one group.
So, I guess I'm saying whether I am the "critics' choice' or a new IBO's sponsor; I'll continue to practice what I preach, and let those around me decide if it's worth it or not.
It was around midnight Sunday in our seedy little motel; as the water began to drip from the ceiling. I called the front desk, (twice) to inform them of this new development. The second time I called, the night manager answered and was very polite. He quickly moved us to another room. Also in his defense, the fact that 30MPH winds were blowing outside and the rain was coming down sideways, may have contributed to the leak.
But, as I settled back down in my new bed, in my new dry room, I laid awake and pondered over the weekend's events.
I already knew that Hurricane Dennis had just grazed Mobile, AL; and that minimal damage was done. I had little doubt that my home was safe and waiting for me.
No; what had captured my thoughts were not my home in Alabama, but this "old hometown" of Columbus, MS.
You see; I had spent most of Sunday afternoon, driving around Columbus and seeing how, or if, I noticed any changes around town. I also stopped at a few friends' houses to say, "hello" and made a short drive to Caledonia to visit my parents' graves.
For almost 40 years, I had grown up in and around Columbus. I called it, "Home".
I remember as a kid, packing up for a weekend to visit my grandmother in Charleston, MS. My mother had always used the phrase, "we are going back "home" to see Momma". It baffled me then, because my Mom had not lived in Charleston in 30 years, and yet she still called it "home."
And so I drove around my old hometown, and tried to see if I had that feeling of being "back home"
I thought about that drive Sunday night and asked myself the question, "Well Dave, were you "back home'?
No.
Columbus was "someplace that I used to live."
"I was originally from Mississippi".
"I grew up in Caledonia."
All those phrases sounded correct, but Columbus was not "home". Nor was I, "back home".
I was merely an ex-resident. There were fond memories, but that was all.
But, my "home" was in Mobile.
I was destined to be there. I was happy there. I couldn't wait to return.
Her safe recovery was welcomed news by all concerned with her safety.
Well, folks in Idaho are still concerned with her safety and care as she will grow up dealing with this tragedy, along with her father. Financial concerns are also a big factor.
I was personally contacted by a close friend of the family, urging me to make sure the word gets out about a fund set up for Shasta. Although physically okay at the moment, I can only imagine the mental and emotional ordeal and the hours and hours of mental health therapy, young Shasta will endure over the next few years.
My good friend, Don Faraca, known as CaviesJourney on AOL wants everyone to know of the fund.
For further info or to make a donation:
Contact
US BANK PO BOX 1029 Post Falls, Idaho 83877
or call
Laura Garrison 1-208-762-8959
or
1-800-872-2657
press 0 (zero) twice to speak to a live person for veracity
At 5:00am Saturday Morning, my wife and two boys were packed and driving toward Columbus, MS to escape Hurricane Dennis and his forecasted 135MPH winds as Category 4 Hurricane.
The night before, I had checked online and by telephone, 20 or 30 hotels and motels along the designated evacuation routes for vacancies or shelters. It looked like that I would be driving to Memphis, TN or further(about 7 hours) in order to find a vacancy.
Luckily,( or unluckily, keep reading) I DID find a non-chain hotel in my old hometown of Columbus. Since it was not a chain, they did not have a web site that you could reserve a room online, nor did they take reservations by telephone. It was first come-first serve. They also had the added advantage of being off the interstate and the highway and located downtown in the city; SO most evacuees would have little knowledge that they existed.
I gave them a call, and found to my delight, that they had 55 rooms available and only $45 dollars a night. So, that was where we were headed to wait out the storm.
We arrived in Columbus around 11am and checked into our room. Mr. Patel was very nice and gave us our keys. The boys were excited. There was a pool, there was AC and there was cable TV complete with The Cartoon Network and all the anime' any kid could desire, and restaurants and convenience stores within walking distance.
Sounds great, right?
Okay, since it WAS an older hotel, we overlooked the fact that the bathroom door didn't quite close. And the fact that the bathtub needed resurfacing was ALSO overlooked, because we could still take a shower.
And sure, since it was old and cheap, we figured the occasional bug in the room was to be expected, after all the room seemed clean, and the sheets were clean on the bed(except what appeared to be a fingernail polish streak on one of the sheets.
And, since it was only for two days and it saved us money, we decided we wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Until more evacuees arrived. Yep, some more Alabamians lucked up and found this GREAT hotel. Except, this particular groups of Bama folks might have considered it a five-star hotel on the order of the Bellagio.
They arrived with beer coolers, grills, swim trunks, and the idea that borrowing money from complete strangers in order to check out the local "meth connection" was perfectly in order.
So we sat out on the balcony, by our room, and watched these folks swim in the pouring rain, race around the parking lot chasing each other, and setting up camp outside their rooms to drink and party while awaiting the destruction of their mobile homes, and deer stands back home.
Their fun was only interrupted once, because sometimes if you drink too much, throw up and pass out, some of your buddies will think you died and they will call an ambulance and the local police, just to see if you will eventually wake up.
The maid was overjoyed to find the dried "throw-up" the next day, still in the room occupied by the buddies; still asleep.
Anyway, I'm glad to be home now. All is well here in Mobile, and the idea of fleeing another hurricane is not a favorable one at this time. But, I noticed on the TV news, that a tropical depression is forming off the coast of Africa.
I sure hope the Bellagio has vacancies in the next few weeks. Maybe I'll drive west instead of north the next time.
I know, it doesn't seem like I have been posting many MLM-specific articles lately; and the reason it seems that way is because I haven't been posting many MLM-specific articles lately.
Why come?
Well, a lot of critics of Multi-level Marketing maintain the position that an MLMer can only speak about MLM; that an MLMer, is so caught up in "the business", and brainwashed to the point that his whole life centers around his venture.
Those that read here at On The Road With Dave; know that I have a wide variety of interests other than my Quixtar business.
But that's not the reason I haven't posted any MLM articles.
Last week I was involved in getting the new domain, "www.ontheroadwithdave.com" going, and then...it was the Fourth of July holiday and family time...and then, my hometown faced a Tropical Storm.
NOW, it looks like a full-fledge hurricane is on it's way to the area.
So, you know what? MLM hasn't been on my list of top priorities.
Sure, it's important to my livelihood; sure, I like and advocate the concept, and sure, I feel like it's my opportunity to fund other efforts and ventures.
But, it's always been my contention, that MLM is part of your life, but not your WHOLE life.
You drive your business, and your business should not drive you.
Thanks to that contention and my reputation as a "good guy", my sales are going up, and people are ordering from me, but I shouldn't have to be in the face of my clients and IBOs all the time, and I shouldn't have to write about MLM everyday, just to attract readers searching for an MLM article using Google.
So prepare for a few more days where I'll most likely be filling you in on the latest news from the Gulf Coast as we anticipate Hurricane Dennis and I promise an MLM article or two after that passes over us.
So yeah, it's STILL an MLM blog, but the "whats" can be just as interesting.
They; and by "they", I mean, meteorologists; say that this summer will be quite an active Hurricane and Tropical Storm Season. Predictions forecast at least 15 storms severe enough to receive a name. Last month we had Tropical Storm Arlene arrive in Mobile and this morning Tropical Storm Cindy arrived.
The eye of Cindy hit west of Mobile in Mississippi, but as anyone who lives in a hurricane area knows, East of the eye is where all the rain and storms prevail.
So, we are getting a lot of rain, a lot of flood "watches"; thunderstorm "warnings" and there has been a couple of reports of possible tornadoes.
This morning, electrical power was out in my town; as well as some surrounding areas of Mobile. In all, about 30,000 people experienced some temporary outages.
All is well here, now. Except for the rain, that comes and goes in small bands of activity, accompanied by some pretty strong gusts of wind. The local weather guy says gusts are around 35MPH.
All eyes around here are now watching Tropical Storm Dennis down near Jamaica, and wondering if we are in store for another Ivan sometimes next week. I hope not.
In the meantime, Cindy's eye should quit "crying" water on us by late afternoon, and be out of the area by nightfall.
"Rain, Rain, go away, come again another day!" But, NOT next week.
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
It seems that my email notification for comments is working now. Although, the notification is not immediate and delayed several hours, but I am receiving them.
I'm no computer expert, but my un-informed opinion is that due to the way my new website works with the Blogger software, that it takes awhile for Blogger to let me know, but it does seem to be making me aware of the comments made.
So, feel free to leave as many as you want!
I love it when people take the time to leave me a comment on a blog entry I wrote.
I read them all. (okay, it's not like I get hundreds of comments daily, so it's pretty easy to keep up with them all!)
I'm also ready, willing, and able to reply back to you in the "Comments" section as well; so if you check back at an entry you left a comment on, you'll sometimes find a reply.
But, BUT But, there's a small problem with the new location here at On The Road With Dave.
I still accept comments, but at the moment, I'm not receiveing the old email notifications of comments posted that I used to receive. So, I don't know if a comment was made until I get to the site; which may delay a reply from me; if you are looking for one.
This may make it tough for new readers, to leave a comment somewhere in the Archived section, and expect me to notice it.
But, I'm looking at my options and I will keep you updated.
It's a new month, and my little blog is at it's new location.
I spent the day e-mailing out some notices to folks on my "Buddy List" as well as in my online Address Book, and I left a few comments at some blogs I read; just to let people know of the change.
I'm glad you found the place.
So far, it still looks the same around here, but that's going to change.
We had to get the technical aspects out of the way first. I had a good friend of mine offer to help convert the old blog over to the new domain. I would give the link to his site, but he did this as a favor to me, and I don't want him bombarded with people asking for the same kind of help AND Hell; that I put him through.
Thanks again my friend. ;)
I'll be adding some new pages, in the following weeks, and you may notice some cosmetic changes as well; we'll see what happens.
I'm excited and a little nervous about changing things around, but mostly anxious that I don't lose any of my regular readers with the change of address.
One section that is planned; is for a more detailed peek into my reviving my stand-up comedy career, complete with a schedule of where I might be performing. Also, Skyler may be making his blog debut.
As usual you can still count on reading my thoughts on how to operate an MLM business ethically and profitably.
I really think this is going to be a change for the better.
