I Resign…

…as an Adult.

Thanks to Bill DeMar at VentMAIL.

To Whom it May Concern:

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.
I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities
of an 8 year old again. I want to go to McDonald’s and think
that it’s a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks
across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I
want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat
them. I want to play dodgeball at recess and paint with
watercolors in art. I want to lie under a big oak tree and
run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer’s day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all
you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery
rhymes, but that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know
what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. All you knew was
to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the
things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest
and good. I want to believe that anything is possible.
Somewhere in our youth, we matured and learned too much.
There are nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, and abused
children. Lies, unhappy marriages, illness, pain, and death.
A world where companies poison our water and our soil, and
children kill. What happened to the time when we thought
that everyone would live forever, because we didn’t grasp
the concept of death? When the worst thing in the world was
if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you last
for kickball. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of
life and be overly excited by the little things again. I
want to return to the days when children played hide-n-seek
outside instead of being glued to a television, when video
games were as harmless as Pac-Man…instead of
spine-ripping, blood-splattering mind numbers like Mortal
Combat, and TV still had some shows on that weren’t about
sex, killing, and lies.

I remember being naive and thinking everyone was happy
because I was. Afternoons were spent climbing trees and
fences and riding my bike. I never worried about time,
bills, or where I was going to find the money to fix my car.
I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew
up, not worry about what I’ll do if this doesn’t work out. I
want to live simple again.

I don’t want my day to consist of computer crashes,
mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more
days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor
bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones. I want to
believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth,
justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making
angels in the snow.

So…. here’s my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card
bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from
adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you’ll
have to catch me first, cause, “Tag! You’re it.”

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About Dave Robison

Now Appearing in an Extended Engagement! Join Dave Robison as he takes you into his world and his daily life of reviving a stand-up comedy career. Prepare for side trips exploring Public Relations, marketing and business ethics. Enjoy some frequent detours describing his observations on life. Read the exploits of this self-proclaimed Renaissance-man and blooming blogger as you go On The Road With Dave. From Mobile, Alabama comes Dave Robison, a confessed Internet-aholic, middle-aged-married-man, who's generally a nice guy--he just has one or two issues. Stand-Up Comedy by Dave Robison is available for corporate events, college campuses, and nightclubs.
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