According to genealogical records, my ancestors came from Scotland and Ireland, as well as Native America. So I feel comfortable saying I am part Irish. Although as a non-Catholic, I did not know that I should wear Orange on Saint Patrick’s Day. No matter the religious or cultural differences, I, like most Americans observing the day, am decked out in Green.
“Ye Olde Blog” is also adorned in the Emerald Isle Green today. I even added custom St. Patrick’s Day-themed banners to celebrate the day.
And because it is Saturday, I picked out a few diversions for you as you drink your green beer, Guinness, and various green alcoholic cocktails.
And because, you may be fecked, gootered, banjo’d and three sheets to the wind at this very moment, then you might as well sing about it and learn a little something on the way; with this Biologist’s Irish Drinking Song. Be impressed that he doesn’t waste time with rhyming anything as mundane as “orange’. He tackles “allosteric modulation and wins!
And what St. Patrick’s Day would be complete without a few stereotypical Irish jokes. Here are two of my favorites.
Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the corner of the room, drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, he went back to the bar and ordered three more.
The barman says, “You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it . Your pints would taste better if you bought one at a time.”
Patrick replies, “Well now, I have two brothers, one is in America and de other in Australia and here I am in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised dat we’d drink dis way to remember de days we all drank together.”
The barman admits that this is a nice custom and says no more.
Patrick becomes a regular customer and always drinks the same way… 0rdering three pints and drinking a sip out of each in turn, until they are finished. One day, he comes in and orders just two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent.
When he goes back to the bar for the second round, the barman says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.” Patrick looks confused for a moment, then the penny drops and he starts to laugh, “Oh no,” he says, “Bejesus, everyone is fine! Tis me … I’ve quit drinking!”
And next comes a story about a fellow who should probably attend Mass just a little bit more.
Patrick O’Malley hoisted his beer and said: “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!” – and he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night. In bed later that night. In bed later that night, he told his wife: “Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night.” She said, “Aye, Paddy, what was your toast?”